Hard Work & Self Compassion

Success typically comes with great effort. We expect and accept that hard work is a necessary part of the accomplishment formula. What I often observe with executives, however, is that they include self-castigation and harsh self-judgment in the equation as well.

In fact, many leaders whom I’ve coached have shared that they believe that it’s because of their intolerance for anything less than perfection that they have been successful. What I challenge these leaders to consider instead, is that perhaps it’s despite their self-criticism that they have achieved success.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if the pattern of pushing oneself relentlessly to succeed is a longstanding and established one. When I ask these leaders whether they use this same harsh language to encourage their direct reports to succeed, they look at me horrified.

I wait a few seconds for the realization to catch up that they understand that compassion and kindness are far greater motivators to success than criticism and judgment. It may take some time and some getting used to, but you can change your ‘recipe’ for success to include hard work, encouragement, and self-compassion rather than self-negation. 

You will not only continue to enjoy high levels of achievement, but more importantly, improved mental well-being.